[hackerspaces] Please reach out

Mon Nov 21 19:22:17 CET 2011

It totally sucks! Me and Bill, of No Starch Press, still need to pick a name, but after we do, later today we'll "officially" announce a Geek Depression meetup at No Starch Press on 6-December, 7:30pm.  Only local, and only a start to help people feel good about talking with others when they need and want to. Mitch.  ----------------------------
 > From: metabaron at massmulti.org
> To: discuss at lists.hackerspaces.org
> Date: Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:37:20 +0100
> Subject: Re: [hackerspaces] Please reach out
> 
> I felt the same 4 times already !! 4 people I knew went that way.
> Mitch I'm totally with you on that. 
> 
> 
> Le dimanche 20 novembre 2011 à 11:34 -0800, Mitch Altman a écrit :
> > I wrote a blog post yesterday that sort of went viral.  The server
> > crashed from so much traffic.  Depression is something that a lot of
> > us geeks experience.  I thought I would share it on the
> > Hackerspaces.org list, too.  If you are depressed or feeling suicidal,
> > please know that you are not alone.
> > 
> >  
> > ------------------------------
> > 
> >  
> > For folks who don't know, Ilya Zhitomirskiy, one of the founders of
> > Diaspora, committed suicide recently. He was 22 years old.
> >  
> > Ilya hung out at Noisebridge, and also led workshops and hackathons
> > for Diaspora at our space. Most people who met him were quickly taken
> > in by his enthusiasm and do-ocratic charisma. I became instant friends
> > with him the first day he showed up at Noisebridge shortly after he
> > moved to San Francisco last year.
> >  
> > Hardly anyone had even a clue that Ilya was depressed, let alone
> > suicidal. He was bubbly, cheerful, excited about all the way cool
> > projects he was implementing, as well as the ones he had thought, and
> > would think of.
> >  
> > Last night was his memorial in San Francisco, followed a party in his
> > backyard in the Mission. This party was typical of the epic parties
> > Ilya threw in his backyard over the past many months, bringing
> > together so many wonderful people -- incredible opportunities to have
> > fun meeting and connecting with each other. The only thing atypical
> > last night was that Ilya was not there.
> >  
> > Both the memorial and the party were full of people who knew and loved
> > Ilya, and who Ilya knew and loved. Ilya could have reached out to any
> > one of us -- any time of day or night. He could have reached out. But
> > he didn't.
> >  
> > For Ilya to have held in and hid his pain so well that all of these
> > people, including myself, had no clue -- Ilya must have felt *so*
> > alone, *so* isolated, exacerbating his pain too greatly. If he had
> > reached out, maybe -- maybe -- he could have lived another day. But he
> > didn't.
> >  
> > I lived the first half of my life in total and utter depression. No
> > joy, just shame, just self-loathing, dread and anxiety and fear of
> > other people -- total depression. I know what it is like to be
> > depressed. I know what it is like to live for one's whole life knowing
> > and believing that the best life might have to offer is the ability
> > for me to endure the pain till I eventually died. That was the best
> > possibility. As with Ilya, I hid all of this from the world as best as
> > I could. And most people had no clue I was depressed.
> >  
> > Yet, I learned, through making choices for myself, and learning from
> > the consequences of my choices, and with help and support of others,
> > over a period of many years, making more choices, learning, growing,
> > crashing, burning, making more choices, more support. . . -- I
> > eventually learned to live a life I love. I love the life I live! If I
> > could learn to live a life I love, then, certainly, it is possible for
> > anyone to do this!
> >  
> > It is more than possible -- it is way worthwhile, way rewarding, way
> > wonderful to go through the experiences of our life -- through the ups
> > and the downs, through the all-arounds, and all the pain and suffering
> > and joy and love and excitement -- and come to a place where you know
> > that the pain, regardless of its intensity, is yet another (perhaps
> > seemingly unendurable) experience, which gives way to more of what
> > makes life even more worthwhile.
> >  
> > Depression is an important part of life. Everyone experiences it to
> > some extent. But to those of us who know chronic depression, it is our
> > own unique hell.
> >  
> > Unique as it is to each of us, we all share a lot.
> >  
> > And we all have a lot to share with each other. Through the ups, and
> > the downs, the all-arounds.
> >  
> > For someone who has no experience reaching out, it can seem to be the
> > scariest thing possible. But it is possible.
> >  
> > It is very possible. Ilya is dead. But you -- you are still alive. If
> > you are contemplating suicide, please know that you are not alone. You
> > are part of a community of others, many of whom know what it is like
> > to be hopelessly depressed. Many of whom are more than open for you to
> > reach out to (if you only knew!).
> >  
> > You *can* choose to kill yourself. But it will be your last choice. If
> > you are ready to kill yourself, why not try out one choice first? What
> > do you have to lose? I know it is scary, and perhaps way shameful, and
> > maybe too awful, and extremely difficult -- but, really, what do you
> > have to lose? Please know that you *can* choose to reach out to
> > someone. Please, know that you can. Please, pick someone and reach
> > out.
> > 
> > Why wait till your pain is so unendurable? You can reach out now.
> > (Really, you can.)
> >  
> > Thanks,
> > Mitch.
> >  
> >  
> > [I also posted this to the Noisebridge blog:
> > http://blog.noisebridge.net/2011/11/19/please-reach-out/]
> >  
> >  
> > 
> > _______________________________________________
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> > Discuss at lists.hackerspaces.org
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> 
> 
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