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It totally sucks!<BR> <BR>Me and Bill, of No Starch Press, still need to pick a name, but after we do, later today we'll "officially" announce a Geek Depression meetup at No Starch Press on 6-December, 7:30pm. Only local, and only a start to help people feel good about talking with others when they need and want to.<BR> <BR>Mitch.<BR> <BR> <BR>----------------------------<br> <BR><div>> From: metabaron@massmulti.org<br>> To: discuss@lists.hackerspaces.org<br>> Date: Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:37:20 +0100<br>> Subject: Re: [hackerspaces] Please reach out<br>> <br>> I felt the same 4 times already !! 4 people I knew went that way.<br>> Mitch I'm totally with you on that. <br>> <br>> <br>> Le dimanche 20 novembre 2011 à 11:34 -0800, Mitch Altman a écrit :<br>> > I wrote a blog post yesterday that sort of went viral. The server<br>> > crashed from so much traffic. Depression is something that a lot of<br>> > us geeks experience. I thought I would share it on the<br>> > Hackerspaces.org list, too. If you are depressed or feeling suicidal,<br>> > please know that you are not alone.<br>> > <br>> > <br>> > ------------------------------<br>> > <br>> > <br>> > For folks who don't know, Ilya Zhitomirskiy, one of the founders of<br>> > Diaspora, committed suicide recently. He was 22 years old.<br>> > <br>> > Ilya hung out at Noisebridge, and also led workshops and hackathons<br>> > for Diaspora at our space. Most people who met him were quickly taken<br>> > in by his enthusiasm and do-ocratic charisma. I became instant friends<br>> > with him the first day he showed up at Noisebridge shortly after he<br>> > moved to San Francisco last year.<br>> > <br>> > Hardly anyone had even a clue that Ilya was depressed, let alone<br>> > suicidal. He was bubbly, cheerful, excited about all the way cool<br>> > projects he was implementing, as well as the ones he had thought, and<br>> > would think of.<br>> > <br>> > Last night was his memorial in San Francisco, followed a party in his<br>> > backyard in the Mission. This party was typical of the epic parties<br>> > Ilya threw in his backyard over the past many months, bringing<br>> > together so many wonderful people -- incredible opportunities to have<br>> > fun meeting and connecting with each other. The only thing atypical<br>> > last night was that Ilya was not there.<br>> > <br>> > Both the memorial and the party were full of people who knew and loved<br>> > Ilya, and who Ilya knew and loved. Ilya could have reached out to any<br>> > one of us -- any time of day or night. He could have reached out. But<br>> > he didn't.<br>> > <br>> > For Ilya to have held in and hid his pain so well that all of these<br>> > people, including myself, had no clue -- Ilya must have felt *so*<br>> > alone, *so* isolated, exacerbating his pain too greatly. If he had<br>> > reached out, maybe -- maybe -- he could have lived another day. But he<br>> > didn't.<br>> > <br>> > I lived the first half of my life in total and utter depression. No<br>> > joy, just shame, just self-loathing, dread and anxiety and fear of<br>> > other people -- total depression. I know what it is like to be<br>> > depressed. I know what it is like to live for one's whole life knowing<br>> > and believing that the best life might have to offer is the ability<br>> > for me to endure the pain till I eventually died. That was the best<br>> > possibility. As with Ilya, I hid all of this from the world as best as<br>> > I could. And most people had no clue I was depressed.<br>> > <br>> > Yet, I learned, through making choices for myself, and learning from<br>> > the consequences of my choices, and with help and support of others,<br>> > over a period of many years, making more choices, learning, growing,<br>> > crashing, burning, making more choices, more support. . . -- I<br>> > eventually learned to live a life I love. I love the life I live! If I<br>> > could learn to live a life I love, then, certainly, it is possible for<br>> > anyone to do this!<br>> > <br>> > It is more than possible -- it is way worthwhile, way rewarding, way<br>> > wonderful to go through the experiences of our life -- through the ups<br>> > and the downs, through the all-arounds, and all the pain and suffering<br>> > and joy and love and excitement -- and come to a place where you know<br>> > that the pain, regardless of its intensity, is yet another (perhaps<br>> > seemingly unendurable) experience, which gives way to more of what<br>> > makes life even more worthwhile.<br>> > <br>> > Depression is an important part of life. Everyone experiences it to<br>> > some extent. But to those of us who know chronic depression, it is our<br>> > own unique hell.<br>> > <br>> > Unique as it is to each of us, we all share a lot.<br>> > <br>> > And we all have a lot to share with each other. Through the ups, and<br>> > the downs, the all-arounds.<br>> > <br>> > For someone who has no experience reaching out, it can seem to be the<br>> > scariest thing possible. But it is possible.<br>> > <br>> > It is very possible. Ilya is dead. But you -- you are still alive. If<br>> > you are contemplating suicide, please know that you are not alone. You<br>> > are part of a community of others, many of whom know what it is like<br>> > to be hopelessly depressed. Many of whom are more than open for you to<br>> > reach out to (if you only knew!).<br>> > <br>> > You *can* choose to kill yourself. But it will be your last choice. If<br>> > you are ready to kill yourself, why not try out one choice first? What<br>> > do you have to lose? I know it is scary, and perhaps way shameful, and<br>> > maybe too awful, and extremely difficult -- but, really, what do you<br>> > have to lose? Please know that you *can* choose to reach out to<br>> > someone. Please, know that you can. Please, pick someone and reach<br>> > out.<br>> > <br>> > Why wait till your pain is so unendurable? You can reach out now.<br>> > (Really, you can.)<br>> > <br>> > Thanks,<br>> > Mitch.<br>> > <br>> > <br>> > [I also posted this to the Noisebridge blog:<br>> > http://blog.noisebridge.net/2011/11/19/please-reach-out/]<br>> > <br>> > <br>> > <br>> > _______________________________________________<br>> > Discuss mailing list<br>> > Discuss@lists.hackerspaces.org<br>> > http://lists.hackerspaces.org/mailman/listinfo/discuss<br>> <br>> <br>> _______________________________________________<br>> Discuss mailing list<br>> Discuss@lists.hackerspaces.org<br>> http://lists.hackerspaces.org/mailman/listinfo/discuss<br></div> </div></body>
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