[Equality] [pylon at hackerspaces.org: Re: Queer Geeks]

[Koen Martens]

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Date: Sun, 11 Sep 2011 03:31:19 +0200
From: Lars Weiler <pylon at hackerspaces.org>
To: Koen Martens <gmc at hackerspaces.org>
Subject: Re: Queer Geeks
X-Mailer: Apple Mail (2.1244.3)

Hey Koen,

thanks for your quick reply! :-)

On 10.09.2011, at 14:53, Koen Martens wrote:
> On Sat, Sep 10, 2011 at 05:40:16AM +0200, Lars Weiler wrote:
>> I think, we as the "oldtards" should offer our help to the "youngnerds". By just talking to them. Or even ask they out directly, if it is their sexuality which struggles them. My experience is, that helps a lot.
> 
> It does. And that's why I am so proud of having been part of the queer geeks show. When
> people like Mitch or Jimmy, whom everyone knows I think and respects, talk so openly
> about the subject and their experiences. In fact, Mitch told me several people came out
> of the closet to him because of the show. And after I posted my blogs, i've had some
> interesting email and irc conversations as well.

I think, not everybody has to show up and tell the world, that they are gay, bi, queer or whatever. But if it helps to feel better, we will take our time, listen to them and encourage to accept the own personality. My experience with "youngnerds" is, that they are not really gay, but they are just open minded. Unfortunately there are still only few women in our community. There were some discussion in the show about raising children – but I'm a bit tired of that… Anyway, those "youngnerds" who joined the CCC during the past 4 or 5 years are just searching for a partner, who they can talk to and who can satisfy their "body requirements" during their coming of age. Like cuddling, kissing or sex. Probably this is a kind of sapiosexuality, as they want intelligent partners, who share the same interests. So they can have a discussion about kernel driver development during cuddling.

Most of the youngnerds have hard problems with depression, as they can't find the right person. Or they don't want a real relationship, but some kind of partner for the bad days. A person who can help to ease the everyday problems. I have to think about tomate, one of the participants in the show. I don't know, if you read his blog post: http://stephanurbach.de/2011/08/the-day-i-wanted-to-die-a-personal-confession-or-why-the-shutdown-of-a-cluster-is-making-people-live/
There are some things mentioned in the post, I had to think about some more. He says, that with being an activist you carry a lot of problems with you. And you don't take your time, to handle those problems. So, with a partner, who can stop you from time to time or help with some nice hours, where you don't have to think about all the problems, the life of an activist might become easier. I guess, this applies to many nerds.

>> Well, these were just a few random thoughts late at night. But I felt the urge, to write those down. Probably we can find some time in the future and talk about it a bit more.
> 
> Well, as a result of the show, some people have been emailing back-and-forth about this
> and also what you write above. Are you allright if I include you in that dialogue??

Sure! I really would like to participate. But don't get me wrong: I consider myself as pansexual. Although I have experience with women and men (well, even with some people from the CCC), I also like robots and aliens (as long as they are cute :] ). And as I said, I had similar discussions with most of the show participants about this topic in the past. I never had something like a "coming out". And when somebody asks for my sexual preferences I don't answer this question every time. Unfortunately there are still people, who are just searching for a wound, where they can hurt you  at another time. But as I realized, that there are more and more open people in the community, I became more relaxed to this topic. So I just act queer, when I feel the urge, that this helps other people.

> We're
> sort of brainstorming of building a site around it or something like that, make things
> more explicit within the hacker scene

At the CCC we had several talks at conferences about feminism. I think, this was a good start, but we have to change it to queer. There are not only feminists in this club, but many lifeforms who have different opinions about love and sex. Of course, there might also be many people who feel offended, as they are heterosexual and don't like, that those queer "minority" form a picture, that there are only queers in the hacker community.

> (and I don't mean xxx explicit :)

Unfortunately, that is something many people think about, when they hear about queer people. "Oh, so you are in club where everybody makes out with everybody else? Well, that is disgusting!" No! We have to show, that we just live a new society, which accepts everybody. And we still have to show to heterosexuals, that we don't just want to fuck their asses. What we want is: acceptance.

> but show ourselves
> and our spaces as being open to everyone. It's far from crystalized yet, but I think we've
> got an interesting discussion going on with lots of potential!

Have a look at the CfP for the 28C3 http://events.ccc.de/2011/09/09/cfp-for-28th-chaos-communication-congress/ – in the first version, which I created in May, there was still the topic "feminism" and "queer geek culture" included. But somebody else from CCC edited it and we had a long discussion with more and more people, that they are sick of this topic. In the end I abandoned the CfP and let somebody else finish it. This topic seems to be not of an interest for the 28C3. If we really want to talk about it, we have to find something new. Not just the same rants, feminists talked about during the last years in the CCC. Best would be some kind of study about queerness in the hacker community. Or part of the "new society" created by hackers. I'm still somewhat unsure and just write down random thoughts again ;-) But sometimes this helps in finding something more precise.

So far for now and keep on hacking our culture :-)

Best regards,
Lars



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