[sudoroom] [sudo-discuss] what is safe space?

Sat Dec 15 03:47:38 CET 2012

this warrants a much longer discussion but ill briefly summarize my
thinking on the topic of culture:

running around nyc clubs and partying in all kinds of places, ive found
that culture is dictated not necessarily by but definitely through women.
meaning, that if my behavior is accepted by the females around me,
regardless of what that behavior is, the rest of the people will also
accept it. consequently, i take issue with any behavior that elicits even a
fraction of discomfort jenny has voiced.

dont know if this will be a constructive example but ill put it out there:
the best parties ive been to were mostly in the gay scene for the simple
reason that the intent of the males was not to chase women, so everyone
felt comfortable to just do their own thing.

On Fri, Dec 14, 2012 at 8:52 PM, Anthony Di Franco <di.franco at gmail.com>wrote:

> All,
>  This brings up a tangential question that I hope we all can come to
> clarity on (quite apart from the main issue here but nonetheless important
> to me and I think in general): what is the best way for the sudoroom
> community to understand the idea of safe space?
>  Jenny mentioned our commitment to creating a safe space in her objection
> to how Timon behaved towards her below. I am interested in what precisely
> it means for a space to be safe because, to help people who aren't familiar
> with the term to understand what it means, and to understand the
> implications of our commitment to it, it's important to be clear,
> consistent, and precise in how we use it.
>  The definition Matt read in this past Wednesday's meeting, taken from
> wikipedia <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe-space>'s quote of the
> Advocates for Youth, is the clearest and most precise I know of so far. It
> reads: "A place where anyone can relax and be fully self-expressed,
> without fear of being made to feel uncomfortable, unwelcome, or unsafe on
> account of biological sex <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_sex>,
> race <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_(classification_of_humans)>/
> ethnicity <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnicity>, sexual orientation<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_orientation>
> , gender identity <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity> or
> expression <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_expression>, cultural
> background <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture>, age, or physical<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disability>
>  or mental ability <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_disorder>; a
> place where the rules guard each person's self-respect<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-respect>
>  and dignity <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dignity> and strongly
> encourage everyone to respect <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respect>
>  others."
>  I am interested in this because I share an interest in culture hacking;
> specifically, I think that the combination of cultures we are exploring in
> sudoroom has tremendous potential: taking the commitment to free and open
> inquiry that pushes against arbitrary restrictions on and taboos around
> what questions can be asked, what discussions can be had, and what views
> are legitimate, which is fundamental to hackers, hacking, and hackerspaces,
> but mitigating the tendencies toward juvenility, needless confrontational
> posturing, and trollishness in hacker culture with the commitment to
> civility, mutual respect, and appreciation of differences that the safe
> space idea addresses. I would go so far as to say that bold, free and open
> inquiry combined with mutual respect, civility, and appreciation of
> differences is the stuff renaissances are made of, and we have an
> opportunity to spark one if we get this right.
>  At the same time, if the idea of safe space isn't used consistently and
> precisely, and merely becomes a way to express discomfort or disapproval of
> a general sort, even if that discomfort or disapproval is for other
> legitimate reasons, it makes it hard to understand what safe space means
> and why it is important. This confusion might lead to disrespect for the
> idea, and even to the use of the idea of safe space as a tool of censorship
> to make it impossible to inquire boldly and openly into controversial
> topics, and to enforce conformity, a betrayal of its true purpose, which is
> explicitly protecting differences and free expression. Crucially, the
> definition above involves not just feeling "uncomfortable, unwelcome, or
> unsafe" but feeling that way on account of discrimination based on various
> traits or lack of respect or recognition of dignity.
>  I hope you all don't mind the digression here, but both the potential and
> the danger in the situation made me want to ask this question.
> Anthony
>
> On Fri, Dec 14, 2012 at 12:35 PM, Jenny Ryan <jenny at thepyre.org> wrote:
>
>> All,
>>
>> Last night around 2am I was in the space with Andrew and Timon. As the
>> only person left with keys, I announced that I was locking up the space and
>> that it was time to leave. Timon was in the sound studio/radio room and
>> continued to whistle and sing while I repeated several times that I was
>> closing down the space. Finally I turned off the lights, and Timon
>> approached me rather aggressively, stating repeatedly that he was not
>> leaving.
>>
>> I have very reasonable boundaries when it comes to aggression and violent
>> behavior. I felt threatened and left the space stating that I was going to
>> call the police. Luckily it didn't come to that, and Timon left the
>> building after ten minutes or so.
>>
>> At no point did Timon inform me that he had been locked out of his
>> apartment and needed a place to stay for the night. Regardless, sudo room
>> is not a hostel, as explicitly defined in our Compact, and last night's
>> incident is the second time I have felt unsafe in Timon's presence.
>>
>> We as a community have committed ourselves to creating a safe space. I am
>> also concerned for Timon and will dedicate some time to providing
>> informational resources re: nearby shelter and humanitarian support. I have
>> also already spoken with George (the landlord) about this incident. He was
>> very understanding and supportive and has said he will speak to Timon.
>>
>> Thanks to all who have reached out. Sudo Room is overwhelmingly composed
>> of wonderful people.
>>
>> Jenny
>> On Dec 14, 2012 9:34 AM, "Eddan Katz" <eddan at eddan.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Hi Timon -
>>>
>>> Didn't see these messages until just now this morning. Did you make it
>>> through the night OK?
>>> It would be really useful to figure out how to be helpful to you if you
>>> can let us know what's going on.
>>>
>>> As for the dispute resolution concern, it seems to me that it is
>>> actually working as intended. You have a complaint, you've raised it on the
>>> list, and now it has been put on the agenda for next week's meeting. How
>>> far we go into trying to solve this dispute is somewhat in your control at
>>> this point. I'd rather not go too far down that road, with people making
>>> accusations against each other.
>>>
>>> It seems like the best thing to do may be for you to suggest ways in
>>> which we could figure out as a community how to help you out, if you choose
>>> to stay in the community. It is a lot more difficult responding to urgent
>>> calls for help in the middle of the night, as I tried to respond to your
>>> earlier email. I have no idea what happened last night, but I can imagine
>>> the situation might have been complicated by the fact that there is mention
>>> of Sudo Room as a space for habitation in the Compact.
>>>
>>> sent from eddan.com
>>>
>>> On Dec 14, 2012, at 3:03 AM, timondocent at gmail.com wrote:
>>>
>>> Someone who has Bern abusively abrupt (to be polite) to me before and to
>>> another in my sight has now consigned me to the 47degF streets at 2:30am,
>>> and will now become the person who causes my creation of a rival space,
>>> with true transparent dispute resolution.
>>>  Duck that. I will not be shat on. If I "join" sudoroom it will be only
>>> as an addition to sudo space or spaces where everyone who can stay civil
>>> and kind is welcome, and whence I launch our As Yet To Be Named Academy
>>> Eddan wouldn't accept my money before bankaccount day, so please calculate
>>> my past due dues, and let me know.
>>>
>>>
>>> Sent from my HTC One™ S on T-Mobile, two companies now forever to be
>>> infamous for opt-out piggyback-vector viral marketing.
>>>
>>> ----- Reply message -----
>>> From: "Marina Kukso" <marina.kukso at gmail.com>
>>> To: "Sudoroom" <sudoroom at lists.hackerspaces.org>
>>> Subject: [sudoroom] Sudoroom open!
>>> Date: Tue, Dec 11, 2012 6:11 PM
>>>
>>>
>>> sudo room is open
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>  On Dec 8, 2012 10:12 AM, "Marina Kukso" <marina.kukso at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi everyone, sudo room is open and coffee is brewing. :)
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>
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>>>
>>>
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>>>
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>>
>
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-- 
len

founder, ligertail
http://ligertail.com
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